literature

Thoughts after graduation

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Literature Text

To my fellow denizens of the Internet,

Many of you reading this are probably aware by now that I'm officially a college graduate. I've just completed my last final in my university, and am well on my way to earning a degree in Theater Arts, something I've been working at for a very long time.

Of course, working at something like this goes beyond just going to classes and finishing assignments. If shit were that easy, there wouldn't need to be shrinks in schools these days. That's the way school is so perfectly designed: it must be easy enough that a lot of people can do it, but hard enough to make actually finishing the motherfucker a daunting task. Thankfully, I've learned from the big mistakes I made throughout, and hopefully learned from the small ones, too.

During my freshman year of high school, I was the quiet kid who stuck to himself. The rest of my freshman year, my mother and father did what most white parents do when they find out their kid isn't normal: they completely went into a batshit panic without blinking twice. The standard practice was then followed. Started with taking the kid (read: me) to a bunch of shrinks who, in a nutshell, that I was fucked worse than a blond in a whorehouse, and that I needed some pills to be made right again.

While I'm on the subject, fuck high school.

These days, I doubt I was ever “right” in the first place. In fact, I was the weird kid that all the others would try and avoid in grade schools, all across both California and Oregon. Ever give some kid who's been bothering you a hickey? It's great fun. Doesn't do much for one's reputation, but hey! Think of all the quiet time I got!

Anyways, back to the daily grind that was high school. Sophomore year, I was thrown into the special class. They said it would help me build self-esteem. Let me see if I can reference what an ineffectual technique this was like so: I was grouped in the same class of people with a few kids who were so badly affected by Down Syndrome that they couldn't read or write. Nothing like getting lectured at by a 50-year-old lady with nothing better to do like I was five for an ego booster. Yeah. Bullshit.

While I'm on the subject, fuck psychiatrists.

However, it was through this series of “clinical tests” that I developed a sense of sarcastic, dry (and sometimes dark) humor that helped me get through junior and senior year. It also made me go more towards the artistic side of the spectrum, since math and science were boring as watching paint dry on growing grass in the middle of fucking winter.

It was also through this time that I regressed into something more of a loner, probably because of my extensive use of the Internet. Interacting with people in college, however, I really have learned a few things at this institution. The fact that it forced me outside of the box I'd created and made me socialize with other people has done me a whole world of good.

Lesson number one: the real world is an awesome place.

The city of Portland, Oregon is a very left-wing city. A joke I always made about it is, “I'm not saying Portland's liberal city, but when planes land at the airport, they have to make a turn to the extreme left.” And with a very left-wing city comes very left-wing people: namely, hippies. There are plenty of hippies around Portland State. Seems like a lot of people were concerned with the plight of workers halfway around the planet, but unwilling to even look the local homeless dude in the eye. And yet, for all the criticism lots of people got, a lot of them had many more friends than I did. Even the assholes.

I was even required to do charity work for a class. I got the hours filled at Outreach Ministry, a place that gives away food and clothes to homeless, down-on-their-luck people. And it also helps mentally handicapped folks get jobs and find ways to earn a living. Seeing what the smallest of things can do for people was a huge confidence booster for me, and I never looked back from it.

I've come to see that sticking around like-minded people online will net you some buddies, but it's the actual physical contact with people and doing things for them that really does the trick for friendships. In no way am I saying that any of my online friends are somehow worth less than my RL friends. But I'm saying that text gets filtered through moods of people. Making comics with Jase has led me closer to him than anyone else online, because for the rest of our lives, we can look at this web comic and say, “We made that together.” Tangible results that are free for the world to see.

Someone actually asked me about that not too long ago. He said “Why do you and Jase have such a close relationship after over two years?” Double-U Tea F. That's why.

Lesson number two: humans are humans.

Throughout my time online and RL, I've only seen any discussion about politics turn sour and devolve into insults. Those most sure of their political beliefs, in fact, are usually the ones who start spewing out hatred and violence the quickest. All this political talk really does, from one man's humble opinion, is make things worse. I believe what I want to believe, and I keep my mouth shut. You don't fuck with me, I don't fuck with you. Fairly simple mentality, and it's always kept me out of too much online hate-spewing nonsense.

It's also helped me at least make an attempt to look what people believe and look at what they do. Forget the crust, you gotta look at the inner goodness, the chewy bits of a person. It gets back to the concept of doing things for people. If you're kind to a person, and listen to them, and do things for them, it really doesn't matter what you believe, because you can form a bond with just about anybody if you look past all the shit that gets flung over the most trivial of things.

But enough about me, and what things have gone down with me. Let's talk about you. I really owe a lot to the people I've met and interacted with online. I just wanted to take some time to thank a few of them.

Kithrixx – You're one funny motherfucker, you know that? Get over that “I'm stupid” thing, and you can really start blowing people's shit down the block. I do look forward to talking to you when I can, because you're always coming up with a new way to make me smile. I don't know how you do it, but for God's sake, keep doing it. And by the way, “the show” is fucking awesome, too.

Sir Kerron – I look forward to talking more with you and establishing a history between our two characters, as you seem to have a knack for intertwining stories incredibly well. You're also a fantastic writer, and I encourage you to do it more often.

Niner – Thank you for all the confidence-boosters you gave me when I've felt down, and the all the criticism you give me when it's well-deserved. Lord knows I need more of it in my life. I really like your story-writing, and your characters. They're all extremely interesting people, and you yourself are always a pleasure to talk to. And, honestly, I hope Twilight Station does well.

Danny – I know what you've been through when you talk about autism, because I've been through the exact same shit. And I know how unpleasant it is, and what it does for your self-esteem. Don't let it get you down, though.

Tony – You're a pretty cool guy, all things considered. I always wonder what you'd think about anything that goes down when it comes to wrestling, because you're always the most vocal about things that happen, good or bad. Channel that passion, and you'll go places, eh?

Rick & Rob – I always look forward to seeing the two of you, because you guys always make me laugh, and I always have fun hanging around with you. Yeah, we have our fights, like most brothers do, but the best times I have with you two are when we're just sitting around, playing video games, talking, just shooting the shit. I don't know when I'll see you both next, but know that I can't wait for it.

Will – We really ought to talk more. We're both trying to be writers, we both have a lot of respect for the other... and apparently, we want to insert one another into each other's storylines. We also tend to think alike about things that go down, but when I do get the chance to talk to you, I always appreciate what you have to say.

DP – Hi. Thanks for modding.

FT – The things that we get into when we talk over MSN Messenger, especially those in-character roleplays, really help me define Lyger as a character. The one we had that lasted a few weeks, especially, was one of the best I've ever been a part of, without question. Thanks for always being there to lend an ear, too.

Khran – Bro, where do I even begin with thanking you? For over two years, you've been the guy that I look forward to logging on and talking to, day after day, without fail. The sprite RPs have never failed to be entertaining, and there were a few times of genuine overflowing emotion that I got from them. From happiness, to anger, to tension, to sadness, all through you and your words and your talent. You're one of the reasons that I want to see England with my own two eyes some day, and there will be a day, I guarantee, when the two of us finally come face to face. I wish nothing but the absolute best for you, and I want you to know that I'll be here for you, whenever you need me.

If I've forgotten anyone by name, I really apologize, but I wanted to make sure I got the people I really wanted to get.

I've got one last group to thank, and that's anybody who's ever been a fan of WTF. It's that silly little sprite comic that's help make me who I am today, because of all the people it's help me meet, and all the confidence it's given me for my own talents, and it's helped me get a deeper appreciation for the arts. And I'd like to think it's even helped me set my career path too. So, I want to thank you guys for being who you are and telling me how cool the comic is.

The real world is calling me, and I don't know if I'll be online as much as I used to be... and that's kind of sad and scary, but it is what it is. I'll try and keep in contact, but rest assured... you have no idea how much I appreciate all of you. Thank all of you so much.
I wanted to reflect on my school days, and to thank all of the people I remember who help me get to where I am. Thanks to everyone who's ever been a friend to me, because it's literally kept me alive sometimes.

A little sappy, sure, but it's what I think about when I reflect on it.
© 2008 - 2024 King-Lyger
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AlmaVA's avatar
Sounds like me,except I am a freshman.